Relocating to Spain
Relocating to permanently live in a different country is not straight forward and easy. Very few people adapt overnight as any change from your normality will have an impact on you both mentally and physically. Although, relocating usually means that you are moving for a better life, it also involves sacrifices. The social networks which you have built up over the years will fizzle out as they are difficult to maintain from so far away. You will change as a person as a result of a change in your life, so you will have less in common with your old friends from “back home”. Leaving behind the comfortable connection of friends and family to be faced with an unknown environment where everyone is stranger can make you feel vulnerable.
Having friends and people we can turn to at hand makes us feel secure and connected, which in turn affects our well being and self esteem. Not only are you living in unfamiliar surroundings but everything that you have ever taken for granted must be started again from scratch. For example, it isn’t just finding a new home to live in but you must also find a job, schools, a car, a doctor, dentist, hairdresser, the list is endless.
The language barrier also encourages us to pursue friendships with other Brits. However, you have to be careful that although you share the same language, if you were in the UK you might find that you wouldn’t have anything in common. You may have lots of differences such as your education, values and attitudes. Be careful not to make friends with people just for the sake of having friends or you could be disappointed in the long run.
It is great to meet new friends and any initial support you receive is invaluable during the settling in period. However, be wary of those with the typical female desperation stories as befriending people who are negative will drain the energy that you most need during the early stages of finding yourself in a new environment. Look out for bright, positive people who are accepting of the new way of life.
Also be careful not to enclose yourself in a British ghetto. Of course, it is easier in some respects to surround yourself with British people but this isn’t the reason why you moved to Spain or you could have stayed at home with ‘your’ people.
Here are some triggers to get chatting with other people:
Do not set out with the intention of replacing the life long friends you left behind.
Children and pets are great for making contacts with other, so if you don’t have your own borrow someone else’s.
Pay someone a compliment, it could be their shoes or a bag but if you share their taste in clothes you might find you have something in common in other areas.
Don't take rejections personally.
If you have retired with your partner/husband get out and about without him as people may be put off approaching you with him.
You haven't been best friends with everyone in your home country, so it is unrealistic to expect that you will make friends with everyone in your new country.
If you want to make friends and learn Spanish at the same time put a flier around where you live to find someone to do a language exchange with.
Go to Spanish classes
Join a gym or take up a sport