I believe that there are some really valid points in the following article by Darren Williger. Although, I am keen for my children to do after school activities and try new things, I hold back because I also think that they should have time just to play with their toys, hang about and go at their own pace and "shock-horror" watch some TV from time to time. I limit them to a couple of music lessons per week. However, I do know mums in Spain that spend every afternoon and the weekends ferrying their kids from flamenco to ballet to karate and so on. Needless to say, both the mums and the children end up pretty exhausted. Let's see what Darren has to say about puttin children under stress.
Stress isn't a problem that adults suffer from alone. A huge number of children also suffer from stress. The difference between stress in adults and stress in children is that adults tend to be stressed out about life; children on the other hand are bothered about people in their lives and the societal expectations that are placed on them. A lot of children tend to get stressed out with the demands that their parents place on them and the many schedules that they have to cope with. If your children are young and showing signs of stress, you should think about whether you are causing the situation by doing any of the following things:
Treating Your Child Like A Small Adult.
Because parents are trying to teach their parents to be responsible, they tend to expect too much from these children. You really shouldn't think of how old a child is but the interests that they have as well as their personalities and temperaments and you should choose appropriate chores that match these interests. Your five year old child may be a lover of yard work while you're teenager does badly at it. It's not worth the stress of forcing a child to struggle with stuff that they can't do. This is especially when they are other chores which are suitable and which they can do much better.
Constantly Expecting Excellence.
Normally a good parent will expect their child to do their best. However, when this best isn't good enough and you expect excellence from this child every time, the child tends to experience sever stress and the effects that are associated with it. Parents who always tend to expect the best from their children should take some time to think about their expectations of these children.
Keep Children Too Busy.
People tend to be constantly on the move these days and we tend to fall into the trap of always being too busy. Children aren't different from us in this regard. Because most parents are trying to expose their children to new experiences and this may stress them out. These experiences include activities such as clubs, sports and other different outings. Children have a need to relax and play independently in order to experience better mental, physical and emotional growth.
Change Routines Too Often.
Consistency is always important to children. Most children tend not to handle change well especially when it occurs on a frequent basis. These children have to know what to expect and when it should be expected. Children who are constantly moving from one place to the other don't have schedules for things like breakfast, lunch and dinner. Thy have no idea about their next particular destination or about what time they are actually supposed to go to sleep. These sorts of children that have no routine r stability in their lives, tend to experience stress as well as anxiety. Having a routine that is secure and somewhat predictable can easily reduce the amount of stress that they experience.
Darren Williger is an over-caffeinated, low carbohydrate eating, wine making enthusiast who writes for ParentingProcedures.com, IntenseFocus.com, and SingleFather.Com.
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